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Apple launches new line of bendable devices
Cupertino, CA — With its new family of bendable iPhones selling in record numbers, Apple will now bring that same rubbery goodness to its other revolutionary products. Beginning next month, special...
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Tim Cook pins Apple woes on North Korea
Kim Jong-un demonstrates the first North Korea-made app, called “Launch Break” Cupertino — Take heart, Jennifer Lawrence. It wasn’t Apple’s lax security that spilled your nude photos onto the internet....
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April Fool: Apple’s new cash cow
Apple CEO Tim Cook evaluates April Fools’ Day suggestions from staff Cupertino — Eager to enjoy an Apple-quality prank on April Fools’ Day? Just pull out your wallet. Visit the online Apple Store today...
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Apple eases Watch tattoo fears
Cupertino — Worried that your cool arm tattoo will spoil the fun of your Apple Watch? Don’t. Responding to reports that tattoos interfere with Apple Watch functions, Apple has acted quickly to allay...
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New Steve Jobs film explores the pre-school years
To celebrate the newest Steve Jobs movie, we now pull this story from our dusty vaults. Scoopertino Movie Review Steve Jobs was impatient, demanding and abrasive — but it was nothing a good nap...
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Jony bails, and Scoopertino knows why
Cupertino — First came frustration. Then mind-numbing boredom. And finally, excruciating torture. According to the legendary recently-resigned Chief of Design, 27 years inside Apple was a “living...
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Apple reveals Plus-Minus-Max-Mini naming scheme
SUNNYVALE — Phew. After years of complaints from Apple customers about perplexing product names, sanity finally returns. Say goodbye to absurdities like iPhone XS Max and hello to clever, more...
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Jony Ive unveils revolutionary new comma
LoveFrom takes the comma to new heights at its new London digs LONDON — More than two long years after design guru Jony Ive left Apple to open his own design firm—LoveFrom—he’s unveiled his first new...
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Bravo! Inside Apple’s all-AI Halloween event
CUPERTINO — Apple’s Halloween Eve Mac event was actually scarier than we thought. Nothing we saw or heard was real. Every pixel, every presenter, every background was created by AI—perfectly...
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Apple relaunches Project Titan as Project Titanic
CUPERTINO, CA—Farewell Project Titan, we hardly knew ye. After more than ten years of development and ten billion dollars invested, Apple has finally pulled the plug on its electric car project. But...
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